Here I sit with a typewriter in my hands ready to write you a letter in pen and ink. We don't live where we used to because we moved where we live now. When you come to see me, you ask someone where I live because nobody knows.
I'm sorry to say we live so close together that I wish we could live closer apart. We are having more weather this year than we had last year.
My Aunt Betty died, and is doing fine. Hope you are the same. Her health leaked out and the Doctor gave up when she died. My brother has the mumps and is doing nicely. He is at death's door and is hoping it will pull him through.
Our neighbor's baby swallowed some pins, but we fed her a pin cushion and everything is okay.
I started to London to see you, but on my way, I saw a sign that said "this sign takes you to London." I climbed upon it and sat there for three hours, but the thing didn't budge.
My grandmother got her wooden leg caught in the washing machine and grandpa had to cut it off to keep her from bleeding to death.
I am mailing you a coat by express. I cut off the buttons so that it would not weigh so much. In case you are wondering where the buttons are, they are in the coat pocket.
By the way, if you don't get this letter, let me know, and I will mail it to you.
Always,
Nutty Nut.
P.S. In case of fire, fan it with this letter.
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